Do you have a sneaking suspicion that when things are going really well, you’re about to ruin it for yourself? 2020 is actually my year to figure out why I do this – and I bet a lot of other female entrepreneurs probably deal with the same frustration.
Amber Lilyestrom, a business coach and branding strategist, has witnessed a consistent and alarming trend among visionary female entrepreneurs in regards to self sabotage. Amber is a coach, keynote speaker and podcast host who helps people find their purpose. “On the other side of massive success, so many switch from playing big and busting beyond comfort zones to retracting inward and losing momentum. The shellshock of winning makes them shrink in their success, and subsequently, slow their business roll in the process,” says Lilyestrom.
The bigger challenge? In the early days of business, most especially, our bottom line depends on our ability to stay in motion. Networking, sales conversations, business development and top-notch deliverables are the bedrock of building a sustainable brand for the long run.
But what happens when we get in our own way and our success leaves us feeling overwhelmed and confused about where to go next?
I asked Amber to give me her best tips in getting out of our own way.
1. Get Honest About What’s Really Going On
The underbelly of a self-sabotage is always our limiting beliefs. “Spend time feeling into what’s coming up for you. Is it imposter syndrome? Are you worried about what other people will think about your recent wins? Break out your journal or work with a mentor to help you tease out what your self-sabotage is keeping you ‘safe’ from having to experience,” advises Lilyestrom.
Try and figure out what belief you are butting up against and you just might find the undercurrent of what’s making you so uncomfortable.
2. Remember Your Why
“When I get stuck in the weeds, I always come back to why I started my business in the first place. When I make it about the people I can help and the former version of me that really needed what I know now, it’s a lot easier to get back in motion,” she says.
Remembering your “why” can be very grounding when you start to notice that you’re sabotaging your success. Write it on a post it, keep it on your desk – somewhere where it’s front and center for you.
3. Identify Your Go-To Saboteur Tactics
For some of us, disorganization and procrastination are the primary strategies for derailing progress. For others, it’s not asking for help and allowing overwhelm to paralyze us into inaction.” When we pay attention to our patterns, we can more easily shift them when we see the first signs popping up. What is slowing you down?” asks Lilyestrom.
“Where can you support yourself more effectively in between projects? Give yourself time to analyze and jot it down in your journal.”
4. Enlist Help
“There are often mighty roots that go along with the limiting beliefs we experience when reaching new levels of success and transcending anything the people in our lives have witnessed us do before. This can create a variety of reactions that serve as triggers. Enlisting support in the way of a mastermind group, a therapist or a coach is an excellent way to stay empowered and accountable as you navigate new dimensions in your relationships and in your perception of yourself,” she says.
5. Get In Motion
The best way to break a workout slump is to workout. The best way to move the needle forward in anything, life or business-related, is to take action. Look at your top priorities and goals at the moment, take one and break it down into smaller, more actionable next steps.
“What’s one thing you can accomplish from that sub-list today? I traded in my meditate-first-thing practice for accomplishing something that I need full energy on in order to move closer to my dreams. Now I get up before my family work on pages for my upcoming book or to record a training or to write content and then I sit down to journal and meditate once the task is complete. Starting my day with a win is always a game-changer,” says Lilyestrom. “There’s no wrong way to do this, except to let self-sabotage win and your progress stay stagnant.”
Self sabotage is so real and can be quite frustrating. Give yourself some grace, pick yourself back up and keep charging forward!